


Free

by Baby_babushka



Series: Reylo Oneshots [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Confessions, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Force Bond, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Jacking off, Masturbation, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, he considers arguing with his penis, snoke was horrible, virgin ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 23:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14436669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baby_babushka/pseuds/Baby_babushka
Summary: That strange energy he felt did not dissipate, however. It remained, burrowing deep into his flesh. It felt sharp, foreign but as if it was the most natural thing in the galaxy.Kylo Ren vs. himself (an erection)Post TLJ





	Free

Possibly for the first time in his life, Kylo Ren was free. No one could tell him what to do. The galaxy and his regime groveled at his feet, awaiting his every command.

He had killed Snoke, his former master, and ascended the throne. He told himself he deserved it. He deserved to rule. He was almost royalty, after all. But his stomach twisted when he sat on the dais. His fingers itched and twitched under his gloves.

It didn’t feel right.

Of course it didn’t. It’s because she wasn’t there beside him. He had offered, of course he had offered. But Rey refused him, betrayed him, left  _ him _ to grovel at her feet.

No.

He would not beg. He would not break, even for her. He repeated it to himself silently, a mantra of lies. 

Of course, in the months since Crait, they had encountered each other through the bond. They had somehow formed a truce, both of them agreeing that what had happened was in the past. He almost appreciated it. But the bond had quieted, nearly gone. The thought of losing that connection made his heart clench.

That strange energy he felt did not dissipate, however. It remained, burrowing deep into his flesh. It felt sharp, foreign but as if it was the most natural thing in the galaxy.

He stormed through the Dreadnought, his long cape billowing behind him like dark smoke. Entering his chambers, he ripped off said cape and stripped on the way into the refresher. He felt a sudden need for cool water to cleanse his skin, to scrub out this feeling.

Dipping his head under the water, he frantically soaped himself, growling in frustration as the energy only intensified. He rested his head on the tiled walls when he finally noticed.

His eyes trailed downwards to find himself standing at attention, almost mockingly. He resisted the urge to scold his erection, and instead turned the water colder in retaliation. 

As his teeth began to chatter, he wondered how it came to be. He hadn’t been doing anything unusual or anything to warrant this response. He had been sitting on the throne. The thought about how it didn’t feel right. He thought about Rey rejecting him.

He froze as the water cascaded around him.  _ Her _ ? Was  _ Rey _ the cause of this? Thinking back, he had felt his cheeks flush and pulse quicken around her. And stars, the electric sensation when their mere fingertips touched. What would if feel like if…

He set his head back on the tile defeatedly as the feeling grew at the thought of  _ her _ ... _ them _ like  _ that _ .

Turning off the water and toweling himself off, he entered his private chambers.

He sat on the bed with the towel around his hips, holding his face in his hands in something resembling shame. He was Supreme Leader of the First Order, for Maker’s sake. And here he was flustered by a girl.

But she wasn’t just any girl, she was...special. She was intelligent, stubborn, strong, compassionate and...beautiful. He groaned at the realization. He shouldn’t think of her like that...it’s inappropriate, he told himself.

 

“It’s disgusting,” Snoke had told him before another round of torturous training. He had tried touching himself the night before, because he was young and had too much energy inside.

Snoke had caught on in an instant, and his mind seared in pain as his hands flew away from himself. The next morning, his shoulders hunched in shame.

“My apprentice will not give into anything so  _ base _ ,” he spat as he unleashed lightning through Ben’s spine. His back arched in agony, begging his master to stop. “Keep that pathetic organ away from your master,  _ boy _ !”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” he gasped as Snoke finally relented, leaving him on the blood stained floor to rot.

 

But he was gone. He had killed Snoke. No one could tell him what to do. He could relieve himself of this energy away from prying eyes. He could  _ relax _ .

With a nervous determination, he dried his hair one final time. Removing the towel, he laid on his wide bed in the nude. It felt nice, to be bare as can be. He wondered why he always wore so much when being free like this was so  _ good _ .

But Force if he wasn’t scared out of his wits. He’d never done it before, and he was approaching his third decade. Better late than never, he thought. He double checked the lock on his door, and turned off his communicator. He didn’t want any interruptions.

Sighing, he let his eyes flutter shut. He stretched out in the Force, letting his normally hardened edges blur and relax. He breathed deeply, trying to find a quiet place in his mind. Of course, he drifted back to her.

Ben slowly rested his hands on his abdomen as he remembered her. He remembered the way her hair moved when she fought, how her eyes softened in compassion for him, how her lips looked when she was thinking.

A low moan rumbled in his chest as his arousal spiked, latching onto Rey’s image. His hands slowly made their way down through his patch of hair before brushing the base of his member. He inhaled sharply as it bobbed against his fingers. He let his hands explore himself lazily. He didn’t need to rush this. As his hands inched their way up, he shuddered as a fresh wave of pleasure hit him square on. Growing braver, he lightly wrapped a hand around his shaft. He groaned. He lightly squeezed and his back arched as his skin began to flush. Sliding the hand up, he brushed the underside of the head, causing him to shiver and breathe heavily. Maker, if his hands felt like this, what would hers feel like?

The image came in an instant, of her above him, tenderly touching his most intimate of parts as she kissed him. Stars, how he wanted to kiss her. He had wanted to kiss her in the interrogation room, when he was still an arrogant, pompous ass, thinking he could take what he wanted. Then she showed him what she could do. And he could only fall harder for her. He had wanted to kiss her in the hut on Ahch-To, when she had opened up to him. She had looked so beautiful in the firelight, her tears making her eyes entrancing. He wanted to kiss her in the elevator on the Supremacy, before their meeting with Snoke. Force, her voice had been so soft, her eyes so dark and- he couldn’t forget after the fight with the Praetorian Guards, with adrenalin blurring his vision and the thrill of the fight making his blood  _ sing _ for her. He wanted to scoop her up in his arms and show her how much he-

It hit him like a freighter as he finally enveloped the head in his large fingers, spreading the precum around. He moaned in earnest, letting his head fall back deeper into the pillow. He began to stroke himself, and stars, did it feel amazing. His mind and body unwound themselves as he accepted it.

 

_ He was in love with Rey _ .

 

“Oh!” Someone squeaked next to him. He nearly jumped at the sound. Instead, he frantically grabbed a pillow, throwing it over his manhood, hiding it from view. “I’m not looking!”

“What are you doing here?” He asked after clearing his throat after he found it hoarse from arousal. He finally looked up. And saw Rey, the object of his desires, with a hand clapped over her eyes and a flush on her cheeks.

“I-I I don’t know-I’m so sorry Ben, I didn’t mean to,” She stuttered. She shifted her bare feet nervously. Taking advantage of her concealed gaze, he got himself under his sheets.

“It’s okay, you can look now,” he said quietly, setting the pillow on his concealed crotch to further hide his erection. She slowly uncovered her eyes and let out a shaking breath. They both sat in silence for a moment. He nodded towards the bed. “Care to sit?” Force, why did he do that? His blush deepened.

“I’m really sorry, it just reopened…” she admitted as she sat on the edge of the bed, shaking her head. “I’m sorry I...interrupted you.”

“You know what I was doing?” He asked nervously, fiddling with his hands resting on the pillow. She nodded. “Well, thanks for the apology,” he said quietly. Her eyes snapped to his as he raised his head. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Thanks,” she replied half heartedly. She bit her bottom lip as her eyes left his once more. “I mean, it’s okay that you do it. It’s a...normal thing to do.”

“I guess,” he said with a shrug. Her brow furrowed. Gods, this was awkward. Her eyes glanced down his chest for a moment before finding his dark eyes again. “So the bond is still there,” he mused.

“I thought it was gone, too,” she conceded. She rested a shaking hand on top of his. “But I’m glad it’s still there.” She swallowed. “I...I missed you.”

His eyes widened in surprise as he turned his palm over to lace his fingers with hers.

“I missed you, too,” he whispered. Stars, touching her again was only making him aroused after it had waned with her surprise arrival. She must have sensed it. He pulled his hand away, ashamed. She reached and grasped it again, holding it tight against her skin.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. He swallowed, his eyes darting to her lips as she leaned forwards. “I...I feel it too.” She echoed his words. And Gods, he had never wanted her more. Then, through the bond...he felt something. She was aroused, too. Just that split second of him prone on his bed, cock in hand, was driving her wild.

“Rey,” he said lowly, voice laced with longing.

“Ben,” she whispered before she pressed her lips to his briefly. They both sat stunned, their bodies thrumming from the contact.

His eyes darkened as he leaned in, letting his lips find hers in an open mouthed kiss. And Force, she moaned against him, fisting her small hands in his damp hair, slotting her hot body against his wide chest. He pulled her closer, palming her hips as he groaned against her tongue. Gods, he felt as if he was burning.

She pulled away slightly, their lips barely touching. Her hands ran across his muscular shoulders as they caught their breath. His lips tingled from their fervent kisses.

“Were you thinking about me?” She asked, her eyes wide. He thrusted his recent memory across the bond as he leaned in to kiss her jaw, which he was pulled towards by an unknown force. He sent his thoughts of her. What his brief explorations had felt like. In turn, she surprised him by sending memories of her working herself under her underwear in Resistance barracks. She thought of him, too. He groaned, peppering sloppy kisses down her neck. She arched closer before she asked,”I was your first?”

“You’re my first for a lot of things,” he answered with a nod. “Including this,” he whispered, locking lips with her once more. She melted against him, pushing him to lean back against the headboard. She ran her hands across his chest as she threw the pillow off of him before straddling him, grinding her covered core against him. He hardened even more with a groan. On instinct and desperation alone, he kissed her with all his might, gasping, as he tore off her clothes. Ben needed to be as close to her as possible. He felt as if he would die if he didn’t. He needed to feel her skin under his. And feel her he did. She took his hands by the wrists and placed them on her breasts, guiding him to squeeze. She threw her head back with a beautiful sound as he thumbed her nipples and kneaded her flesh.

“Kriff,” she muttered under her breath as she too explored his chest, running her hands across his muscles. Lips still locked, they breathed heavily against each other, groping and caressing each other hard enough to bruise. He wanted it. He wanted marks of this in the morning. He wanted her seared into his skin. “Ben,” she said urgently, pulling away, setting her hands on his shoulder. Their eyes met. “We should...we should take it slow,” she said between heaving breaths. He nodded, thumbing her swollen lips as he cupped her cheek in his hand. “I mean, you’ve never even done it alone...I don’t want to overwhelm you.” Her eyes softened and he couldn’t help but smile slightly. She saw it and mirrored him, pulling him in for another heated meeting of lips. A thought occurred. It made his already blushing face deepen in color.

“I...I want to watch you,” he said between kisses. She drew away slowly, her eyes molten. “I want to see what you do...please.” He couldn’t believe he was here, with her, the woman he loves, letting him see her in all her glory, blessing him with her touch. Stars, how he needs her. “Like you said...we should take it slow,” he added. She nodded and smiled.

“Only if I can watch you too,” she whispered in his ear, nipping his lobe. He gasped against her, holding her tighter as he sent his approval and excitement through the bond. She squirmed out of his grasp, making her way to the other end of the bed, stealing a pillow for herself. He tried to follow, but she held up a finger with a tisk. He stopped dead in his tracks, afraid she had changed her mind. “We won’t touch each other,” she said quietly but sternly. “This is something new for you. It should be only for you.”

He nodded. It made sense. He had never even taken himself in hand before, let alone lie with another. He saw compassion and understanding in her eyes. She understood where he was, and what he needed.

“Thank you,” he said. And he meant it. She smiled as she settled on her end of the bed. He nervously uncovered himself, his erection springing out of the confines of the sheet.

“You’re welcome,” she said in a low voice as her hands slid across her abdomen, trailing lower and lower to the thatch of curls between her golden legs. His eyes followed as he mimicked her, slowly moving his hand to touch himself. Stars, she was beautiful. She sighed as her fingers finally found her center. Her legs fell open, revealing her beautiful folds. “I’m so wet, Ben… for you. All this is for you,” she whispered, swirling a digit through her slick. He groaned as he let her see himself fully, letting his legs fall flat as he slowly stroked himself.

“Gods, Rey, you’re so beautiful,” he replied, working his thumb over his dribbling head. “I should’ve done this ages ago.” If she sensed his hesitation because of Snoke, she didn’t show it, but gave him a look of understanding. It broke as she worked a finger around her nub, not quite touching it. So she liked teasing.

She keened as she began to stroke her clit, running a hand through her chestnut hair as her hips grinded against her hand. He strengthened his strokes slightly, encouraged by her. He could feel his flush creep down his chest as his pleasure increased. He had never felt so good before. Feeling a little braver, he snuck another hand down to fondle his sack. He muttered a filthy curse as it sent a hotter kind of pleasure up his spine. 

“You’re so big, Ben,” she whispered as she slowly entered herself with two fingers. And Force, the wet sound it produced was heavenly. “You’d fill me up so well.”

“Patience,” he said with a smirk which turned into a grimace as he tugged in himself just a little too hard. He recovered quickly, stroking himself softly. Rey began to pump the two fingers inside her with a moan that made his heart stutter. “We’re taking it slow, remember?” He asked rhetorically, deliberately slowing his movements for emphasis. She smirked as she opened the bond wider, allowing her pulsing need to bleed into his. “That’s cheating,” he said with a gasp. Her arousal was different than his, more of an ache, an emptiness waiting to be filled. Somehow that turned him on even more. In response, he opened his side wider, letting her feel his lust. She moaned, driving into herself harder.

“Kriff, Ben, I want you,” She babbled. “I’ve always wanted you, in the forest, in the hut, in the elevator, oh Gods,” he felt her hit something sensitive inside herself as she curled her fingers upwards. Her face flushed to a beautiful peach color as she fucked herself with her fingers. 

“Gods, Rey, I want you too,” he responded, quickening the pumping of his hand, involuntarily bucking into his fist. “Fuck-Rey, I want you so badly.”

She hummed as she began to stroke her insides faster and faster. A wet slapping noise filled the room as they both quickened their paces.

“I want to taste you,” he blurted at a particularly good stroke. “I want to bury my face in you.”

“I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk straight,” she replied in a growl, canting her hips up with a gasp. “Oh, fuck, Ben, I love you-“

They both stopped in shock. She drew her eyes away in embarrassment, and he could tell she was thinking something bad.

“I love you too,” he whispered. She looked back at him with tears in her eyes. “I love you, Rey,” he repeated.

“Come here,” she said, her voice breaking.

“I thought we weren’t going to touch,” he said as he crawled towards her. Instead of explaining herself, she pulled him in for a kiss. And what a kiss it was. His arms gave way, and he collapsed beside her, lips still locked.

“Let’s just kiss,” she said, her hand resuming its position between her legs. He smiled and nodded as he kissed her again, taking himself in hand.

Stars, the kissing only made it better. And being so close to her was intoxicating. He frantically pumped himself while she slammed her fingers in and out of herself. 

“Ben,” she moaned, their lips only brushing. Her pace faltered and became irregular, and her hips began to buck harder.

She was close.

“Rey,” he replied in a growl, sucking bruises into her neck as he stroked himself at a harsh pace. It felt like too much, but not enough. He felt a looming mountain approach them both. Their pleasure spiked in a feedback loop as they neared completion. “Together?” He gasped, shaking.

“Together,” she whispered before they fell over the edge together. Ben had never felt anything like it. He was flying, falling, exploding, crushing, something, and he saw stars as he came for the first time. Spurts of his thick, long awaited seed burst forth, covering his hand and stomach. He groaned and shook through it.

Rey arched her back as her vision whited out and her walls clenched and fluttered around her slick fingers. Ben could feel just how good it felt for her, too.

Breathing heavily and completely spent, they laid side by side. Ben got up and cleaned himself off before returning.

Rey notices a thin sliver of cum that he had missed, which she eagerly licked up. He tasted good. He gasped and groaned as her tongue slid along his toned stomach.

“That was fantastic,” he said, stroking her hair as she settled on his chest. He pressed a kiss to her sweaty forehead.

“Agreed,” she replied, pulling herself closer to him. She hummed in contentment, running her fingertips along his beauty marks and scars. “I’m sorry that you had to wait so long to do that,” she whispered. “Nobody should have to be controlled like that.”

He could only hold her tighter in reply, letting the tears prick at his eyes without shame.

“I’m free now,” he said quietly.

She nodded against him before they slowly fell asleep. He had never slept better.

  
  



End file.
